| Meet Christine Daae. She's about to walk into a mirror to follow a strange man who sings at her and has a gondola. This fate could have been avoided if she had a sassy gay friend. | |
| Christine: | Goodbye Raul! Oh, how I... oh how foolish I sound! I feel the urge to say I... I love him. And yet, I'm waiting for that Angel of Music my father told me about. Oh my, is there a person behind my mirror? Who is that? |
| Sassy Gay Friend: | Prima Donna Summer, hold it right there Hot Stuff! |
| (Theme music) | |
| SGF: | What what what are you doing? Do you even know that man? He is a creeper, who knows how long he's been waiting behind that mirror, and trust me, he's not using Facebook to do his creeping! |
| Christine Daae: | But he's telling me he's my angel of music, that's what my father told me to look for. |
| SGF: | Honey, it's a masquerade, where his face is a different shade and it's red and blue and yellow and brown and green and silver and chocolate and mauve and green and crimson and- whoops, I got mixed up with gay bible stories. But yes, he is lying! |
| CD: | My! Then who is he? |
| SGF: | He's a man in desperate need of plastic surgery who makes awful music and hides underground in a dungeon. Like Andrew Lloyd Webber. |
| CD: | My God! That sounds dreadful. *singing* I have never felt like this, for once I'm lost for words- |
| SGF: | What. What. What are you doing. The damn song starts out with I'm lost for words AND THEN YOU KEEP SINGING. That doesn't even make sense! And it's the wrong musical, that's song and dance girlfriend! |
| CD: | Oh. Sorry. |
| SGF: | So here's what you're going to do, it's a two step plan. First, you walk up to mirror and say, You have the music and the mirror, go away. Then, you, this is part 2, you walk away. |
| CD: | You make it sound so easy... |
| SGF: | Trust me, you really don't want to go down there, cause then you have to sing this awful rock song. |
| CD: | A song about rocks? |
| SGF: | Don't worry about it, just don't go down there, that's all I ask of you. |
| CD: | SAAAAAAAAAAAAY YOOOOOOOOOOOOU'LL SHARE WITH ME ONE LIFE ONE LIFETIME |
| SGF: | Dear Sondheim you gotta stop. You're gonna put an ear out just bursting out with that stuff. |
| CD: | Sorry. |
| SGF: | Just think of me, think of me fondling before you do something stupid. |
| CD: | I think the word is "fondly"- |
| SGF: | You say potato, I say gay bar. Now go greet your public! |
| CD: | I will! Thank you, kind woman! |
| SGF: | You're welco- Well then. |
| Christine leaves. Sassy gay friend starts to admire himself in the mirror. | |
| SGF: | Hmmm... I stick out more than a straight guy at the Tony Awards... Oh well, I look great! Hm? What's that in the mirror? Is there something on my face- OH AUNT JAMIMA I FORGOT YOU WERE IN THERE! AH! ...ah...haha...haha. Whew, wow, how did I forget that? I'm a stupid bitch. I'm a stupid bitch. |
Sweet Everlasting Facets of Life
Hannah. I'm 17. I live in Maine, USA. An open person about most things, I like to write and doodle and daydream.
My philosophy is that if it isn't hurting anyone else, then it's nobody else's business. Everyone has a right to be themselves.
My philosophy is that if it isn't hurting anyone else, then it's nobody else's business. Everyone has a right to be themselves.
